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Over the past two weeks my wife and I have had our eyes opened in a way that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. On one hand we have been opened up to this world of people involved in treating and caring for cancer patients. In this world the only thing that matters is life. Live it, love it, mean it. Life. These are some of the bravest, most honest, and deeply caring people I have ever met. I feel so small in their presence. Life pours out of every cell of their body and gives life and hope to those around them. As a result, these people give off this radiant light of hope. On the other hand, my wife and I have been put in this place that is dark that only we occupy. It is the road that we must go down in order for her to live. We have been told there is no cure of what she has and that her life can only be prolonged as best it can and as best technology and science can afford. Every three weeks is a milestone. Every night is a milestone. Every night we check in with each other to see what kind of day we each had. Despite what we go through, the fact that we are checking in with each other at the end of the day makes it a good day. We are feeling our way down a very dark road. Morning will come soon and fill our lives with sunshine and happiness. We will win. Loosing is not an option. Our 16 month old daughter’s future depends on it. She is our beacon and guides us. |
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My wife was diagnosed with Stage IV Inflammatory Breast Cancer on 2/16. For the past month we have been dealing with doctor's appointment after doctor's appointment. It took two weeks to completely diagnose the disease. For those of you who have never dealt with cancer I hope you never have to, but let me explain what the first sentence of this post means. Stage IV means that the disease has spread to major organs in the body, currently her liver and spine. Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC) is a very rare cancer that occurs in only 1% to 4% of all breast cancer cases and is very aggressive, meaning that is spreads very fast. My wife's doctors believe that she has had cancer for six months or less and has progressed from Stage 0, having no cancer, to Stage IV where the cancer is life threatening. In a matter of two weeks my wife went from being Super Mom to being this rare and critically ill cancer patient in the fight for her life. She started chemotherapy last Thursday and we are starting to see the side effects. She will be receiving treatments every three weeks with numerous invasive and non-invasive tests between treatments. At one point I had decided to shut down my blog. After talking to my wife and thinking it through shutting down my blog because of this disease would be allowing it to win and take over an aspect of our life. We can’t let that happen on any front. Our lives will forever be changed, but we cannot loose this fight on any front. We will win. |
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